Atkins is healthy

Professional dieticians don't like it, but a new study shows that the Atkins diet does a good job of lowering cholesteral levels (despite intuition). I've always been a fan.

Starving people in the heartland

Yeah, as Jonah Goldberg points out, these guys look like they are really struggling with hunger (see the picture):

The rising cost of food means their money gets them about a third fewer bags of groceries — $100 used to buy about 12 bags of groceries, but now it's more like seven or eight. So they cut back on expensive items like meat, and they don't buy extras like ice cream anymore. Instead, they eat a lot of starches like potatoes and noodles.

Wisconsin is in a tizzy

We've all heard about how that selfish jerk Brett Favre (who would soon become local hero Brett Favre if he comes to the Bears) wants to come back and play after announcing his retirement. Packer fans are pretty worked up one way or the other about the whole thing.

Yesterday a bunch of them held a rally outside Lambeau Field in support of Favre. Yes, they are dorks who couldn't even stay home and watch CC Sabathia pitch for the Brewers. Instead, they tailgated at their protest:

The crowd of more than 100 chanted "We want Brett," and carried signs reading, "Favre for President" or "Favre Forever." Many in the parking lot wore No. 4 jerseys, tossed footballs and grilled.

I think they really just want to get away from their wives with an excuse to spend their summer Sundays drinking beer and eating sausage:

The rally in Green Bay, Wis., was the brainchild of brothers Adam and Erick Rolfson, who on Friday tried to think of a way to keep Favre in Green Bay. Another rally is planned for Monday night in suburban Milwaukee and every Sunday thereafter at Lambeau Field until Favre is back.

I somehow found a story less surprising than my previous post

Elgin is the fattest city in Illinois:

"One out of two children in our Elgin-based U46 schools are overweight or obese -- 50 percent; that's a problem," he said. "According to driver's license data from the state, Elgin is currently being identified as the fattest city in the state of Illinois."

Cheap pizza this weekend

For you locals, I got a flyer in the mail from the Domino's at 2455 W. Fullerton. It has a coupon for as many 1-topping large pizzas as you want, carry-out only, for $3.99 each. If any of you want the coupon to either entertain a crowd or just get fat, you can have it. First come, first serve.

UPDATE: I forgot to write that it's good from 10 AM to 5 PM on either Saturday or Sunday.

New weigh-in counter

Yes, the past 6 months of trying to get in shape has been a disaster. I've cleared it out for brevity's sake and am starting over today.

Lots of disappointment around here

First, Mercury Morris and crew now will go to their graves knowing they were the only modern NFL history to go undefeated. That makes me cranky.

Second, barring some Mitt-mentum (which may or may not be occurring), John McCain will be the Republican nominee after tomorrow's primaries. Any regular reader of this space knows what I think of him.

However, let's also celebrate some of the good things in life. For example, I went to an excellent Super Bowl party last night. The food was great and we had just enough beer to satisfy the crowd.

Additionally, while I had to shovel 4 inches of snow this morning, due to the warm temperature I was able to do so relatively easily.

Finally, I have been watching my DVD set of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia lately. It provides me with a great sense of humor that most other shows can't.

Zubaz are back!

Yes, that's right. I know a certain weightlifting nerd who would probably love to have some to wear to the gym:

Their popularity had waned by the 1990s, but Stock and Truax decided last fall they would introduce Zubaz via the Internet, where you can now get the the unisex, zebra-striped pants, in six colors, exclusively at www.zubaz.com. They're priced at $29.99.

Lost wallets...

...broken dreams.

In the hubbub Saturday night I lost my wallet. I didn't have much in there except my whole life. Anyway, I've done my part in rebuilding it by ordering new cards, getting a new driver's license, and loading up on cash at the bank.

Why does anyone care? Because it allows me to tell a story and write the only post ever on this blog that's like one of Mrs. Reuter's...

At the Secretary of State's office (why don't they just call it the DMV like every other state?) who was in front me by no more than 2 people? Why, none other than Mrs. and Mr. Knowles. Apparently April had the misfortune of her 401(k) being frozen due to her driver's license not matching her address (or something like that). The Knowles made a lunch date of getting new licenses and hitting up the food court at the Thompson Center. After getting numbers we chatted about the various issues of the day in the holding cell (excuse me, waiting area). Then in line at the cashier we did some more, and finally again at the photo area. At that point I had to walk to CTA headquarters for a new Chicago Card Plus, so I declined their tempting offer of joining them for lunch.

After getting cash I stuffed my face with McDonald's, all the while wondering if buying gorceries in the Soviet Union was a similar experience to navigating the beaurocracy of the DMV. I decided the answer was "Yes".

Weekend laziness?

Some might say I was lazy this weekend for doing no studying nor writing about my would-be immigration plan. Those who were with me will know better, however.

Friday I hit up Durkin's for lots of boozing. I got the number of a gal who is 6'2". (Awesome.) The flaw is that now means I am talking to/dating 7 women right now. I am far too lazy for that kind of stuff, so starting this week I'm going to start lopping them off Biggest Loser-style.

Saturday I bummed around my place for a bit until I met Roy, Murphey, and the Neyer family at Brownstone for about 25 minutes (more on that in a bit). After having only been there that long, Brownstone is now on my crap list of bars. They were advertising a special of a $4 stadium cup of Bud Light. I was thinking it would be a huge cup o' beer, but it was only about 20 oz. OK, I thought to myself, I can roll with this. The cup was a plastic black model sporting a Texas Longhorn logo and the Brownstone logo on one side, while there was a collage of logos of the other bars owned by the same company on the other. I drop my $5 on the table and leave, and ask Neyer to bring the cup to me the next morning (more on that later, too). I find out later that day via text message that the bar then charged an EXTRA DOLLAR for the cup. It's not even very good! Fine, Brownstone, you want to play like that? You have made an enemy.

Next I was on my way downtown to meet a gal at a coffee shop. This wouldn't have been bad except that (1) the Red Line train I was on had tons of problems and was moving VERY SLOWLY and (2) we were meeting by the lake, where I was tromping through an ice storm with 30 mph winds. I spent so much effort trying to stay vertical and not fall that I didn't notice until I took my coat off at the coffee shop that my coat, gloves, and hair were covered in a thin sheet of ice. No joke. Anyway, it was a nice time and after talking for a few hours I took a cab home rather than subject myself to the elements again.

I was about to settle in to a DVD night like the dork I am, but not more than 15 minutes after getting home I get a call from Michelle inviting me to head over to eat chili and booze. I did so. That was a busy day.

Sunday morning, Liverpool played at 9 AM. I may be the only person in the city who subscribes to Setanta Sports at home, and I was set to stay home and watch the game except that Neyer had my cup from that crappy bar (I promised him that if he brought it the next morning I'd show up at Ginger's to watch the game). To think it was all because I didn't want to lug it to my date the prior day. Anyway, I weaseled my way to Ginger's. By the time the game was over at 11, Corey and Bryan also showed up, and we hoofed it to Finley Dunne's to watch football and drink some beer. That place is five times the bar that Brownstone is, by the way, mainly for not trying to bone their customers. We finally left at around 2:30, and I got the Sean Phelan special on my way home at TBH: a king pork burrito and an order of steak nachos.

Needless to say, I don't feel so hot today after this weekend.

This is a roundabout way of saying that for anyone who cares, my immigration post is going to have to wait until I have time to put it together. In addition, blogging is going to be light around here this week, as I am very busy with work, after-work activities (including the Wisconsin double header for LU), and studying for my FAP 1 exam next Wednesday. It's just a warning to not expect too much out of me until late next week.

What the f*ck is going on in Japan?

Apparently a growing number of men over there want to be skinny wimps who let their girlfriends run their lives:

Both Shirakawa and his girlfriend like the fact that she weighs more than he does, and is the leader of the couple. "She's a lot stronger than I am, can lift heavy things and go drinking until dawn. I admire that about her, and feel protected when I'm around her," he said. Older than he by five years, it was Shirakawa's girlfriend who made the approach, started the dating process and decided what course their relationship would take.

"Frankly, I think women should be in the driver's seat. Society and relationships work better that way," he said. Shirakawa likes to wear his girlfriend's clothes and often shows up for work wearing her blouse and jeans, to the general approval of his co-workers.

Hirayama said: "For young men, wearing women's clothes has almost become a status symbol - a confirmation of being slim and pretty and, therefore, desirable. Young women, on the other hand, are less interested now in looking beautiful for the benefit of young men. They dress up for themselves, for their own satisfaction."

...

Indeed, young men claim to want to be pursued and then nurtured - they often hate to make the first move and often shy away from conflict. "I never fight with my girlfriend because I know I'll lose," is how Shirakawa put it. "It's just a lot more comfortable for me if I go along with everything she says."

I hope this guy is not representative of a broader trend, or Japan won't last much longer as a society. I mean, who is going fight their wars?

UPDATE: It occurred to me that even though this story is in the International Herald Tribune, it may some kind of hoax. It's just a little too silly, but then the Japanese are a weird people, what with their anime porn and such.

Bacon salt

I need to buy some.

Biggest Loser snarkiness

Yeah, I know this is really mean, but I can't help but laugh at Hollie's friend Antoinette (or whatever). 20 easy minutes on the elliptical machine makes her want to throw up? That's the greatest thing EVER. I shouldn't be too mean, though, since Hollie is going to be the best-looking gal at the season finale.

On a different note, I am pretty tired of this talk about "BEING ABOVE THE YELLOW LINE". Jeepers, there is no significance to the line being yellow, or there even being a line. It's really about being in the bottom two. Why can't they say that? Is the audience too stupid to understand the concept? My bet is yes, because one thing I've learned in my 33 years on this planet is that you won't go broke assuming the general public doesn't get math.

Bryan updates his blog

In other news, I saw a pig flying past my office window today. At least his post is just about how fat he is. See my weigh-in results to the left to see how Nashville treated me. (Hint: it was almost as bad.)

Walk Of Shame - Saturday, October 6

This morning I made the walk of shame after meeting a girl out for drinks after work. This was a bit unusual, though, since I did it from around 6300 N. LSD. Luckily, it was only a few blocks from the Granville Red Line stop. Since I have nothing but time today, I took the train and then the Fullerton bus, and I made the whole trip in 45 minutes. Not too shabby!

When I got home I went to the store, then ate for lunch a frozen pizza and over a pound of chicken nuggets. Needless to say this made me want to sleep.

After a nap, I'm just getting ready for baseball in a few minutes. In the meantime, who knew that the best game on TV by far is the USF-FAU game on ESPNU. FAU just rolled down the field on the #6 team in the country, and it's not 14-14 with 8 minutes left in the 3rd quarter. I'm so tired of Florida, Florida State, and Miami that I hope USF becomes a great program and counterweight to them all, too, so I'm rooting for them pull this one out.

Oops! It's 5 PM, time for the Cubs brutal end to their season. Go D-Backs! I know I should be better person about the Cubs, but I'm trying. Old habits die hard, right?

UPDATE: F the D-Backs game. I'm staying with this USF-FAU game. USF's up 7 but FAU is plowing over the USF defense AGAIN. 1:34 left in the 3rd.

UPDATE 2: Chris Young just gave the D-Backs a quick 1-0 on a HR. OK, I'm going picture in picture, baby!

Best catalog ever (if you're really fat)

So when I got home tonight from work, I found in my mailbox a catalog named "Living XL". The subtitle is "Unique, innovative products for tall and plus-sized men and women."

(As an aside, there's no thing such as a "plus-sized man". If women who stuff their faces with bon-bons are too emotionally fragile to be called big, that's their issue. I don't know what goes on in women's heads anyway. But us fellas know when we're fat and there is no need to finesse it. What the hell does "plus-sized" mean anyway? There's no large plus, there's extra-large. Where would plus begin? Waist size of 40? 44? 50? The whole thing is insulting.)

There are some phenominal products in this catalog:

seat belt extenders
fanny packs for waist sizes up to 64"
a scale with 1000 lb. capacity (!)
combo clock/blood pressure monitor (surprise)
a personal leg lifter (you've got to see this thing to believe it)
something that helps a person put on his socks
1200 lb. capacity toilet seat
big bike seats with 500 lb. capacity
folding chair with 800 lb. capacity

That's enough joking about the morbidly obese and the odd products they need to live their exciting lives. There are actually a few things I'd like to get:

22" wide hangers
80" x 40" bath towels
44" x 86" sleeping bag
big folding chair (this one only has a 500 lb. capacity)

Anyway, these guys clearly have some fantastic stuff. You can also check them out at their website. I recommend you do!

Finally, check out this thing. How useful would that have been at the Iowa-NIU tailgate on Saturday?

The Chicago burrito tournament

Nate Silver over at BP mentioned this link in passing in his chat today, and I provide it without comment. Just trust me, you want to click on it. Knowing where he lives and reading hints about other things he writes, I'm certain it's really him writing this blog.

The race to 210

In October I'll be playing basketball every Tuesday night with the Murpheys and whoever else they can scare up in an open gym setup. Given my age and physical condition, I think it would be best to drop some weight and strengthen my legs. The last thing I want is more knee trouble.

With that written, my goal is to get down to 210 pounds (bear in mind for anyone who has the misfortune of stumbling upon this site and subsequent fortune of not knowing me, I'm 6' 9" tall). I weighed in today at 231 pounds. The worst part is that I'm not carrying much muscle.

The running list you see to your left will be the results of my weigh-ins. I hope that the potential of public shame is strong motivation for me. We will all see!

Please note that weigh-ins will be done sporadically. Helpfully, here is an artist's conception of what I look like today (for comparison purposes):







I hope to look like this at the end:






















UPDATE: To clear up any confusion (as in the comments), I want to look like a white Shawn Kemp, not MJ. The role of MJ in this picture will be played by everyone else on the court, staring up and watching me dominate.

Gluttonous Monday

Drinking for 12 hours on a Sunday is not a smart move once one gets to my age. Needless to say, I felt a little off today at work. I thought it would be a good day to hit up McDonald's for lunch. Even better, I stopped at Aldi after work and bought a bag of chicken nuggets and bottle of BBQ sauce. It was a big, unhealthy, inexpensive dinner. Somebody's going to sleep wonderfully tonight.