The End Part 2

Why stop doing this blog? I feel constrained by certain things that my lack of anonymity forces on me. I'd rather my blog be more free-wheeling and misanthropic than it is. That's just not possible as things now stand.

I'll be out there somewhere, but you'll have to work really hard to find me. Unless you are really good with computers, in which case you probably won't have much trouble. Luckily, I don't know anybody like that.

I'll end with a picture of the most attractive short woman in Hollywood, Mila Kunis, along with some of my other favorite pictures from this blog's short history:

The End

I'm killing off this blog after today, so enjoy it while you can. Or hate it. Whatever.

This is the story I was born to link to

You know I am going to link to this story just to check out the picture. I was not disappointed:

Every year, girls' dresses seem to be getting shorter and shorter (as we get older and older). But when they're wearing shirts as dresses...hmmm. Kymberly Clem, 20, was thrown out of a Kentucky mall Saturday because the "dress" she was wearing was deemed too short by security guards.

Iowa News of the Day

Apparently, the only Vietnamese man in Des Moines (at least judging by his name) fancies himself an amateur veterinarian. And here we go:

Police said Vu attempted the sterilization procedure Aug. 2 on Shelly Shannon’s dog “Pooper.” It was reported to police two days later and animal control officers were brought in. They said one testicle had been removed with a razor blade during the home procedure but the other could not.

Shannon, 7907 S.W. 10th St., determined that the dog needed professional help, so she took him to the Animal Emergency and Referral Center of Iowa, 6110 Creston Ave., where Pooper was treated and later released.

Vu admitted that he attempted to neuter the dog and had not used pain medication, officials said. Officials said Vu told them he had been taught the procedure by his father and grandfather.

Officers noted that Vu has no veterinary license or training.

No kidding!

Slow times

Posting will be slow around here since I'm going out of town for a few days. More of the usual crap when I come back.

More romantic: men or women

John Hawkins and Dr. Melissa Clouthier have a little debate over IM or something about whether men or women are more romantic. I found it interesting. I can't believe it, but I actually agree more with the doctor.

Cool list

10 unsolved mysteries of the world. Very fun read, and strange.

Link make goodness funny

The headline above is my weak attempt at humor by pretending that it could be an example of the way some Japanese phrases translate to English so horribly. (Sort of like the Three Happiness restaurant in Chintown visible from the Red Line.)

This website collects other such examples from people. It's pretty funny.

Funny blog

Here's something I just found: R.O.C.K. on the CTA.

I'll let the proprietor describe it herself:

A somewhat snarky, sometimes cranky, borderline stalker-y view of the world from my seat on the bus. No offense meant to anyone.. all of these stories are just made up. I really know nothing about you. And I care even less. I love watching the urbanites as they do their daily dance along the train tracks and bus routes...They make me happy. And sleepy.

She takes pictures of random people on the CTA and makes up stories about them.

UPDATE: An intrepid commenter pointed out that the author is a dude. Reading his comments I wouldn't have guessed that. Oh well.

Sporadic Megan Fox update

Here you go. Only because we could all use a little more of her in our lives.

South Carolina used to be so gay!

Not any more.

Strange crime of the day

This will make no sense, but here goes: Be on the lookout for an attractive woman named Patches who travels with three large black men and sprays perfume that makes men pass out.

She sort of sounds like a supervillain that Batman would fight.

Want some free Chick-fil-A?

No problem. Except it's today only, so you have to find one. Not easy in Chicago.

Also, you have to dress like a cow.

Slow times at With Leather

I've linked to the website With Leather before. It's a very snarky and profane sports news blog. It's also funny.

There are usually about 10-12 posts per day over there, but for some reason there haven't been any new ones since yesterday morning. But it's, uh, OK with me. That last post is good enough for me.

My hypothesis

From experience of riding the train to work at various times in the morning, I have long thought that attractive women don't go to work until 9 AM. Why would it be so? A few ideas: they are so good-looking that no one cares if they aren't early, or maybe they aren't smart and thus don't work in jobs that require heavy hours. Who knows what the real reason is? Let's just enjoy arriving later sometimes, I say.

Anyway, arriving at work at 8:45 AM today provided another data point in favor of the hypothesis.

Let's lighten the mood around here

Posts about the oncoming destruction of Western civilization by medieval Muslims kind of kill the vibe. Let's mix it up. The best way to find a goofy story is to swing by Drudge. He has lots of regular news, but also news-of-the-weird-type stories.

This isn't it. Neither is this. We are getting warmer, only because it involves trannies, but not so much given the story itself. Closer still. Almost there...

Found it:

SANFORD, Fla. -- A gang of female bandits dressed in nursing costumes is stalking and targeting women and elderly shoppers at Central Florida businesses.

Here's an interesting tidbit that's not too flattering to one of the perps:

Investigators said several women are involved in the theft ring but they are looking for one specific woman. She is a heavy-set woman with very short hair and can be mistaken for a man, detectives said.

Marissa Miller in a bikini

Don't say I never gave you guys anything. Ladies, don't worry. Here is a beefcake picture for you.

U of Iowa is about to go underwater

The flooding is about to hit the home of the Hawkeyes.

For CReut

Apropos of nothing (since I'm still drunk from last night and on my way to my company picnic in 20 minutes), here's a link for the Steeler fans out there. And by that I mean Craig.

Yes, this is just to hit my daily quota of one post (to quote Butthead, "A quota? You mean, like, 25 cents?").

Annual shareholder meetings

I own a few individual equites, and thus I get invites to attend their annual meetings. I never go, mainly because they are seemingly always on a random Tuesday in Virginia or something.

This Sun-Times article contains interviews with 3 local investors who frequently attend these meetings. I had no idea they give things away:

Best spread: Chicago Mercantile Exchange, which at the Swissotel Chicago in 2006 offered a full line of buffet items (sliced roast beef, turkey, ham), salads, dessert and open bar.

Then there is this, which made me laugh out loud:

Easiest to get a word in: Wm. Wrigley Jr. Co. But one of the easiest this year was female condom maker Chicago-based the Female Health Co. He was the only shareholder in attendance. "They let me talk all I wanted."