Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Best catalog ever (if you're really fat)

So when I got home tonight from work, I found in my mailbox a catalog named "Living XL". The subtitle is "Unique, innovative products for tall and plus-sized men and women."

(As an aside, there's no thing such as a "plus-sized man". If women who stuff their faces with bon-bons are too emotionally fragile to be called big, that's their issue. I don't know what goes on in women's heads anyway. But us fellas know when we're fat and there is no need to finesse it. What the hell does "plus-sized" mean anyway? There's no large plus, there's extra-large. Where would plus begin? Waist size of 40? 44? 50? The whole thing is insulting.)

There are some phenominal products in this catalog:

seat belt extenders
fanny packs for waist sizes up to 64"
a scale with 1000 lb. capacity (!)
combo clock/blood pressure monitor (surprise)
a personal leg lifter (you've got to see this thing to believe it)
something that helps a person put on his socks
1200 lb. capacity toilet seat
big bike seats with 500 lb. capacity
folding chair with 800 lb. capacity

That's enough joking about the morbidly obese and the odd products they need to live their exciting lives. There are actually a few things I'd like to get:

22" wide hangers
80" x 40" bath towels
44" x 86" sleeping bag
big folding chair (this one only has a 500 lb. capacity)

Anyway, these guys clearly have some fantastic stuff. You can also check them out at their website. I recommend you do!

Finally, check out this thing. How useful would that have been at the Iowa-NIU tailgate on Saturday?

3 comments:

LaurenK said...

I've been on planes a couple times with people that need seatbelt extenders. That's some crazy stuff! I can't believe there is a catalog like that!!!

Mich said...

Is it bad that this just totally fascinates me? I feel like a horrible person.

Cletus Van Dam said...

Not at all. I need to get the 1,200 pound toilet seat just as a conversation starter.