Movie Review - The Marine

Since this is a WWE Films movie, it has the potential to be either an underrated action/vengeance flick or a train wreck. The last WWE Films one I saw was See No Evil (starring Kane), and it was bad. I have higher hopes here, so I'm doing a sort of live blog of it.

John Cena's character is named John. What a stretch. I can see the director having to change it to John at the beginning of shooting because Cena couldn't remember what his character's name was. It was probably much like when Homer entered the witness protection program in the Cape Feare episode of The Simpsons and they had to keep trying to get him to respond to his new name.

The main bad guy was the bad terminator in T2. That's always a treat. Plus, he's one of the 2 First Names All Stars, along with Frank Thomas and others.

In the beginning of the movie, John was discharged from the Marines for disobeying orders and rescuing his buddies. Now he's a security guard and he had to expel someone who was yelling at a secretary in an office upstairs. That was kind of fun.

Also, John's wife is that smoking-hot blond girl from Nip/Tuck. Great casting. Kelly Clarkson has really turned herself around lately.

Oh crap, a bunch of thugs stole John's car with his wife in it, and they are trying to kill him before they leave the gas station. If this is half as good as The Punisher, I'm going to be happy.

Great (if unrealistic) car chase scene, along with a sweet line of the bad guys says.

There are small bits of comic relief that are amusing and not entirely out of place.

These two drug-makers kidnapped John thinking he was a cop. John of course escaped by kicking their asses.

Holy crap, some super-hot gal in a bikini just answered a phone. In the movie I mean, not in my apartment. Nobody mixes in some T&A like Vinnie Mac!

Kelly Clarkson made a run for it, chased by the villian girl. Now they are fighting, and I gots to say it's pretty good action.

Now they are shooting up a bar. I almost started crying. It was one of those cool bars in a swamp with a boat docking station, like Porky's, too. I imagine Michelle or Kelin, being from the Everglades or wherever, to know about those places.

Bad Terminator may have killed more people in this movie than in T2.

Flashbacks to a Triple H match: John just got hit in the abdomen with a sledgehammer.

Kelly SOMEHOW came out of drowning thanks to John's CPR skills, but much like in T2 the Bad Terminator just won't die! Come on John, you know you have to throw him into molten iron ore to kill him.

HOLY BALLS. Watching the credits, I noticed that Lincon Kennedy (the former Raider) was in this movie playing HIMSELF. That must have been the huge guy who someone mentioned had played in a Super Bowl. That's somehow the most exciting part of the whole movie. I'm such a sports nerd.

SUMMARY: Not nearly as bad as I had read, but I certainly didn't expect much. Overall, it was a fun action movie with some good lines. Mild thumbs up.