Geraldo Rivera has famously (or, at least in cable news circles it's well-known) become a bit of an open-borders zealot. I mean that he's become the opposite of me on illegal immigration. He's now written a book about it.
Since he's just a news goof rather than a writer, you may not imagine it to be very good. This guy comes to the same conclusion, and in a funny way. Here's how the review starts:
Being Hispanic has only benefitted me. I can tan. I don't look like a total ass when I dance. I can roll my "r"s in a sophisticated way. Surrounded by conservatives as I frequently am, I help boost the number of minorities in the room by 100 percent. The best part is, they don't know it or have to come to terms with it, because of my dark secret. I'm Spanish (indeed, from Spain), which is technically Hispanic, according to dictionaries, but I look white, depending on where I spend my weekend.
There are downsides. I have to shave almost twice a day to prevent myself from looking like Pancho Villa. I dial "1" for Spanish just to practice for when I talk to my distant relatives. And I have to dodge the paranoid, delusional bigots my compadre (that's a Spanish word) Geraldo Rivera has uncovered in his book, His Panic. Of course, that last bit is easy, primarily because I've never found any.
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